So last week I decided I was going to make a huge lifestyle change and bring you all along for the ride as a way to keep myself motivated. I was thinking positively and was ready to go… for about five minutes after I made the post. When it comes to exercising and eating healthy, I've always lacked the motivation I needed. It's not because I don't want to be healthy or comfortable with my body because I want that more than anything. It's because I am addicted to food. I can't say no to it. I have always had a problem with emotional eating and overeating almost to the point of binging; add that to an insatiable sweet tooth and it's safe to say it's pretty bad. It's also not something I can stop doing overnight; it's something I have to do gradually because if I just quit cold turkey I'll never be able to succeed. It just doesn't work for me.

The other problem I'm having is my relationship with exercise. I hate it. I hate it so much that the mere thought of it makes me want to throw up. I don't understand those people that get addicted to it and have to go every day. I get on an elliptical and I'm ready to get off after two minutes. The fact that I hate it so much makes it extremely difficult to get up and go. Yes, I'm one of those people that's always saying, "I'll start going tomorrow." But then tomorrow becomes next week and it just keeps getting put off. Going to the gym is as appealing to me as getting teeth pulled. But I know it's the only way I will ever reach my goal. I just can't figure out how to motivate myself. Anyone have any advice for me?

So all in all, this first week was a complete failure. I'm disappointed in myself but I know I'll be able to do it eventually… at least I hope so. If anyone has any advice on getting motivated feel free to share!

I'm going to be completely honest, here. I've always struggled with my weight and body image. I wouldn't say that I am 'fat' because I absolutely detest that word but I will say that I am technically overweight and it bothers me to no end. Most of the time looking in the mirror is nothing short of devastating. I'm making this post because I want to change this and to motivate myself to do it and keep to it. I'm going to make 'Weekly Check-In' posts where I share my progress. I think it will help me stay on track with this lifestyle change. I've tried so many times to do this in the past but I've never been able to stick with it for more than a few weeks. I started college last September and I've been steadily gaining weight since and I'm done. I'm going to commit to a workout routine and eating healthy in a way that works for me and track my progress on here for all of you to see. I'm hoping this will motivate me to keep going. I'm not going to post personal things like my weight but I'll give an honest account of the good and bad things that happen. I need to make a change in my life and I'm going to do it starting right now. Let's see how I feel in a week!